Groups are inevitable unless you lock yourself in your room. Even then, your flight from groups is only temporary because eventually you will need others for many different reasons.
All of life breaks down into relationships. Any interaction constitutes a relationship. Of course, these relationships may differ by the numbers involved, the intensity, the complexity, as well as a host of other characteristics.
When your relationships involve at least two other people with common goals or problems, or with some bond such as birth, reciprocal abilities, or complementary needs, you are participating in a group dynamic. Because our society functions through the use of groups, it is imperative that you understand how to fit into the group of which you desire to be a part.
As an Entrepreneur, it is extremely likely that you will find yourself involved in one or more networking or referral groups. Many of these groups are membership-based, which means that the group had already formed before you entered the picture. This can be a stressful experience, not unlike changing high schools mid-term when you were a teen-ager. You could see that friendships and trust were already established among those at the new school. Why would they be interested in you?
To be blunt, the primary interest in you by these networking groups is going to be self-serving. They want to promote their business to you with the hope that either you or your contacts will become customers. However, it is up to you to shift their attention away from themselves long enough to take a positive interest in you.
How do you influence the interaction you will have with a group?
• First, you have to perform an assessment. Ask yourself how different or similar you are to the people in the group. Because some groups are static, this is easier. However, the attendees for some groups vary from meeting to meeting. In that case, you have to assess whether your goals or intentions are different or similar from the group as a whole because you can not focus on individual personality characteristics.
• Second, determine the impression you want to make on the group. Everyone has weaknesses they are trying to overcome. So you certainly don’t want them to be an integral part of the image others have of you. In terms of your business, what strength do you need to accentuate? Are there habits or mannerisms that you night need to tone down to fit into this particular group?
• Third, decide how much of a commitment you’re willing to make to other group members. Do you want to maintain only business relationships? Or are you willing to become friends outside the group? Are you willing to help others without immediate return if you have some needed expertise not directly related to your product or service?
• Fourth, ask yourself if you are committed to the goals of the group as a whole. In those groups that are non-membership-based, this is not always as pertinent an issue. However, in most groups, particularly those identified by a specific task, it is totally relevant to the group’s success.
• Fifth, ask yourself if you are prepared to compromise. Compromise is about working with others to combine the best qualities or elements of different ideas in order to create a workable plan. It is not about conceding to something detrimental. So, are you dedicated to the principle of win/win? Or do you feel that the only way you can win is if someone else loses?
• Sixth, will you work toward trusting your fellow members? Hardly anyone would promise to trust a group of strangers, and I’m not saying you should. What I am saying is that you should commit to allowing that element of your relationships to develop. You have to consciously set aside your paranoia, not your common sense.
If you address the items listed honestly, you will find that your encounters with the group in question will draw you back to these questions over and over in the beginning.
You will re-assess as your knowledge about the group increases.
You may even discover that your own goals or intentions for participating shift. Sometimes that shift will cause you to leave certain groups. That’s okay. We’ll talk about what to do if you do decide to leave a group in the next post.
All the best on your quest,
Dannye Williamsen
The Solopreneur’s Coach
“The Edge You Need To Prosper™”
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